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Showing posts with label eating disorder. Show all posts
Showing posts with label eating disorder. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Identity Crisis?

*****disclaimer*******sensitive topic*******
(I enjoyed writing all those asterisks.)

How do we identify ourselves?
I believe perception plays a major role in our behaviors. Our thoughts define our actions. However, this is based solely on personal experience. That how it was for me I believe. My fundamental beliefs were so screwy, a perfect breeding ground for my mental disorder.

I don't question that our enviornment effects us just that it is the mind which receives these external influences and it is the mind that decides what to make of it. I remember in the deepest of my disorder that the simplest of comments I perceived as a direct attack on my being. "What did you just say? So, you think I'm...stupid, ugly, fat, unworthy, hypocritical, two-faced..." and the list went on. Even certain looks from people would set me off. I thought that when my mom glanced at me she was checking to see if I was fat or if I was becoming fatter. None of it makes sense now, but I can understand how it would have then. I was misperceiving.

Now, I try to understand how others think. I used to always be very self-centered. I believe many people with eating disorders are (this is all based on my experience with myself and others I know with similiar disorders.) I truly believe now that there is more to life than just "me." I believe that to truly be at peace with yourself, as well as happy with yourself, you need to be at peace with others. Don't assume, don't put down, don't criticize without reason, just smile and offer a hand if you can spare it.

So, this is me offering my hand out to the blogger community with hopes of mutual friendship.

anna